tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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