Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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