Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
