We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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