girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
