there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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