go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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