I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
