3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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