so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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