There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
