dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
