Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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