Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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