I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
