Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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