i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
