How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
