Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
