I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
