How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
