Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
