Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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