Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
