ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize