i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize