He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
