doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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