Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We left the knife in your bed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
