Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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