he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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