we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize