Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
