there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
