i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
