He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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