we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I did not marry a roomba.
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