I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize