Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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