mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
