she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
