I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
