Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
