No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
