I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
