Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize