i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
