She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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