I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
