i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Come share oat with me in your robe
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize