ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
