I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
