i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
