They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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