I think I won the penis lottery.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
