That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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