just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Randomize
