Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
