Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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