I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
