We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
