dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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